Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Keyword: Terrified

I have been putting the ''keyword' subject above as my status on my BlackBerry Messenger for the past two months or so... So every week, I'll describe how I really feel in one word...

I thought it'll be 'cool' to include this exercise of mine in this blog every week as well... Hehe...

So this week's word is Terrified...

I don't really like to pen so much about my personal life here because I think it should be kept as private as possible due to my past experience(s)... But I guess that it won't hurt to vent out once in a while... ;)

So terrified about what? Well pretty much about 'opening my heart' to someone new...

The last relationship took a toll on me emotionally, mentally and physically, and ever since then I have been completely 'shutting' myself from the opposite sex... Yes, I have been meeting new people for the past 6 months, but the idea of starting all over and being emotionally involved again with someone new scares the heck out of me... And I have doing a pretty good job at building my guards up so far... Because the last thing that I want is to get hurt... again...

I know I contradict myself sometimes... I mean I do miss having someone significant in my life, someone with whom I can share my life, my dreams, my passions and of course my love with... But at the same time, I am terrified to go through the cycle again... Thinking about all of the "what-ifs"... And being disappointed... Maybe I am just thinking or over-analysing things at the moment...

But I know sooner or later, I would have to fight with these 'demons' inside of me... And the 'wall' must come down eventually... I have to be brave enough again to take my chances on love... After all, the show must go on right? :)

Plus I have so much ♥♥♥ inside of me to share with someone... Haha :P

PS: Can't help but to hum and sing along to this song below for this week's 'emotion' ;)

3 comments:

  1. going through a heartbreat is part and parcel of life, everyone goes through it .. coming out of it strong is what defines you .. the day will come when you will just know it that he is the one, dont give up on love , it has splendour to offer with all its glory and ups and downs :)

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  2. kak june: awww thank you for this! and yes, i don't want to give up on love, just have to find a way to let love in again... :) *hugs*

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  3. just have courage and take a chance and a risk :) *big bear hugs back*

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